Tonight at Anna's end of the year soccer party, one of the mom's brought the finished cupcake ceramics that were made at her daughters birthday party to hand out to the girls who were at her daughters party. And I am not exaggerating when I say it looked like every girl but Anna got one. I really don't know what this mother was thinking.... I would NEVER do that, EVER. I was hoping Anna didn't notice but of course she did....
She comes up to me right after the trophies were handed out and says she is tired and wants to go home. Being so unlike Anna to ask this, and the fact that I was mid conversation with a mom, I told her to go play with her friends for a couple more minutes. I saw her sulk back to a chair and just sit. It was so sad. So I went right up to her and told her let's go. She whispered to me, "but don't I get a cupcake thing like everyone else has?" So sad........
Now I understand that my daughter is not going to be invited to every party and I don't expect her to be; we didn't even invite this little girl to Anna's party. We barely know her. I actually think it's important for kids to realize that its ok if you are not invited to a party; that things do go on without them. I think it's a vital part of the learning process, of growing up. BUT the fact that the mother had the BALLS to do something so completely out in the open that could hurt others children's feelings angered me. Infuriated me. I thought I had a couple years until stuff like this happened.... we are just in Kindergarten for crying out loud.
So we get outside and I explain to Anna that one of two things has happened:
1. She wasn't invited.
2. We were invited but never received the invitation
I told her she probably wasn't invited and that's ok; she can't be invited to every party. I reminded her that we didn't even invite this girl to her party. She said she understands that but it hurts her feelings that her mom did that; brought the ceramic painted cupcakes to everyone but Anna. She said it made her feel so left out and so unincluded. Then she goes on to tell me that it hurt her feelings so badly that she was "crying in her head." (Break my hear there). And then she goes into talking about how non of her friends wanted to play with her tonight at the soccer party (not entirely true) and how she is so sad. Then she asked me why a mom would do something like that to make her sad. My honest answer was, "I don't know. Some people don't think about others Anna. I am so sorry." It is so hard when you don't have an answer for your kids..... and when your kid is such a deep thinker like Anna.
So we had some extra long snuggles and she asked me if we could go paint a cupcake together. Of course we can....
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